worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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