Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
