Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
True college students do jello shots in the library
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