You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
