i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
MIDGETS
????
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
