Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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