Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
