Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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