okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
