"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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