I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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