Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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