just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
my liver is dry heaving
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
