This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
