You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
