I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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