im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Who died my cat blue again?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
