Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
