They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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