Dual....:-)
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
