Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
