Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
