if you like me you must not know who I am
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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