walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
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