im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
