This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
