She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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