Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
