Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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