Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
