I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
