i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
