Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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