I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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