You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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