RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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