I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
