I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize