32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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