so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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