I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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