Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize