Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
