You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
