I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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