Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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