is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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