I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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