Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
