Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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