oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
