If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm at about main and main street
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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