where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
