How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
