I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
