2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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