Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
one two three fourrrrnication!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize